Something happened in the news last week that has been a topic of conversation between myself and a few others. Elliot Spitzer, the governor of New York, has been caught having a relationship with a girl from an escort service. He is married and has 3 daughters. During his press conference to confess his sins, his wife Silda stood right next to him the whole time, in silent support. Spitzer isn’t the first politician to engage in extramarital affairs, and Silda joins a growing line of other wives to support their husbands. Here is my question; Why do the wives of politicians publicly support the immoral and adulterous behaviors of their husbands?
Someone may argue that their wives are not “supporting” the behaviors, however I feel that by standing up there next to them they are sending a message to the public. That message says, I am ok with what my husband has done and I will stand by him in this difficult time. Included in this public, a large number of girls and women, who often take their cues from women in power positions such as the first lady, or the wife of a governor. Women that we should be able to call role models. Do you really want the message being portrayed to them that they should turn a blind eye on adulterous behavior? Aren’t we taking a step back in women’s liberation when we send this message? Is that really what Silda Spitzer wants to teach her daughters; It’s okay that daddy slept with a hooker, and because he’s a politician and we signed up for this life, I will stand next to him.
I am not saying that she needs to divorce Elliot, if she can forgive him then I think that’s great. However, can she show a little anger or non-support (maybe sit in the audience instead of stand next to him)? When someone you love and trust breaks a promise they made to you, aren’t you allowed to be hurt? Don’t be such a doormat! Model for other girls/women how you can work through difficult situations while maintaining some dignity!
We expect a lot from our politicians, but are we so focused on perfection that we don’t want to see real emotion and honest feelings? I know I would respect them a lot more if they were not afraid to be themselves.
4 comments:
Christy, I am glad that you don't consider this a good role model. Being in the public doesn't make you an automatic role model, in fact, there are more lately that I would use as a model of what not to do. Look around and think of the people you know well, I'm sure you will find someone better qualified. Just this weekend as I was cooking our corned beef, I said to Dad, we had some wonderful women in our family, they were all great cooks and that's what brought them to mind but their qualities went far beyond that. They were honest, helpful and kind, loyal to the family, very loving and they knew how to have fun.There are so many more qualities that I'm sure I'm leaving some out. I was lucky to have them to look up to, it's so unfortunate that you were too young to remember them, they were fabulous, your great grandmother, Jane Elizabeth, your great,great Aunts, Agnes, Ruth and Mary and of course your grandmother, all very worthy women to have as role models and I hit the "motherlode" :-)
You my darling have a lot of their qualities already and I'm sure you will continue to follow in their footsteps, and someday in some kitchen a young lady will speak the same loving thoughts that I did, about you:-) In the meantime we need to make more time for me to re-introduce you to the Great Ladies of our family, thank goodness for the photos,wish I had a better memory. Good clear thinking, keep it up, Love, Mom
Christy-
I like the way you stated "caught having a relationship with a girl from an escort service." Come on. This guy was screwing hookers. He had an account so he could screw hookers and pay for it later (I wonder if he gets air miles for that?) Lets not sugar coat this.
I agree with you though. This is a humiliating thing for the woman to go to and she is just taking it on the chin. I see no benefit for her or her husband by putting her onstage during the press conferences.
If I was in her shoes though, I would stand by him for a couple months and then seperate and sign a nice fat book deal.
I disagree, however, with your statement that "we expect a lot from our politicians." I see no proof in this. There are so many examples of scandals that happen and then the guys get reelected. Hell, look at our Bill Clinton getting some action in the White House. Hillary stood by him on that one. Realistically, I think our expectations for our politicians is VERY low and that the best politicians are usually the ones you've never heard of.
Candy-
You said "Being in the public doesn't make you an automatic role model." I disagree. It doesn't make you a GOOD role model, but people are going to look up to you. Hell, just being alive makes you a role model. I am in no means famous, but that doesn't mean that I can't or won't influence my little cousins or my neighbors kids. As a kid my role models (for no other reason than they were in my life) were my brother, my neighbors, and the older kids at school. They may not have been the BEST role models, but I was a stupid kid. Being in the public eye like Mrs. Spitzer just makes her a role model for a wider audience.
Course, if there were no sex scandals, whatever would we talk about?
Thanks to Becky I now can show recent comments in my sidebar on the main page. Thanks!
I think that in the world we live in today, it's important that we, as adults, try to make sure that the children in our lives see that those on tv, in politics, and in professional sports are just human. That they suffer the same faults and weaknesses that we all do, and that they would be much better served looking for a role model a little closer to home.
That said, it is pathetic that public figures now cannot control their urges, have no sense of loyalty and responsibility toward those they purport to love the most, and disrespect the public so much that they think they can fool us into thinking that they are truly remorseful for anything other than being caught. We really should hold them to a higher standard, but the fact is we don't, and it's a shame.
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